Today I found myself feeling sad. I thought it was because we had visiting family members from America who are returning tomorrow. My kids will miss their grandparents again, my wife her parents, and even I will miss my in-laws who I likely won’t see again in 2011. But in a surprising moment of self-awareness, I realized we would all miss our family, but that wasn’t why at that moment I felt sad. I felt sad because in the past couple weeks I have not been walking closely with God.

Some weeks back I was listening to a very old sermon by John Stott on Mark 1 and I was struck by these words. “I have no doubt whatever that the greatest single hindrance to all evangelism today is the secret poverty of our own spiritual experience. We don’t make Jesus known to others because we don’t know Jesus ourselves. We don’t witness to Jesus Christ cause we don’t feel like it. We don’t feel like it because we’re not following him closely. And it becomes embarrassing to talk about him.”

I am not embarrassed to talk about Jesus. But how well will I talk about him if I don’t continue to move closer to him, know him better, and love him more. I can tell you a hundred stories about each of my children. Some of the stories would make you laugh. Some would show you how proud I am of each one. Some would make you think parenting must be really difficult. But you would have no doubts that I love them and know them.

I want to tell stories about Jesus. How he has taught me. How he has provided for me. How he has filled me with hope when circumstances in my life tell me to abandon hope. And maybe how when I neglected him for a couple weeks he stayed by my side waiting for me to rejoin our ongoing conversation once again.

You might be involved in an Ichtus group that is participating in the Mark Project. And maybe you have been challenged to be involved with an evangelism event, or to witness to your friends. Maybe that has made you aware that you are hiding the poverty of your spiritual experience. Expose it. Be open about it. For me a few weeks have been long enough. How long will you secretly live in poverty?

You are dearly loved by God. And he is eager to see his work done in your life and in the lives of people around you. Read the words of 1 Peter 2.9-10. “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”

The God who sees us like that is a God we ought to embrace. I mentioned I felt sad. I only felt that way because I know what it is to be walking close to God. I would be glad to dialogue with you about your spiritual life and how you can grow closer to God. If you have questions or just need to tell someone how things are right now please email me at jeremy@ichtus.be.